


Whatever the Lady Wants

by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Alternate Universe, Children, Disturbing Imagery or Content, F/M, Family, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-12-28
Updated: 2007-12-28
Packaged: 2019-05-15 18:55:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14796087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: Derrick's story; he demanded that it be told and wouldn't let me write anything else until I told it.





	Whatever the Lady Wants

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

  
Author's notes: AU, based on "Fold in Gently" but is being presented stand-alone. CJ, Danny, Bonnie, other WW characters

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rating: Adult

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Warning: contains references to disturbing events. I've tried to be discreet and sensitive about same.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Spoilers through end of series; may contain spoilers for "Fold in Gently" and "Holding Hands on the Way Down", but I will try to be rather "vague"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Not mine, never were, never will be, but they consume my soul  


* * *

**9:30 PM PST, December 16, 2016; San Luis Obispo, CA; home of Bonnie and Jean-Luc Fallières**

Before Derrick Reeves saw her face, he heard her laugh.

Derrick arrived at the Christmas party being given by Bonnie and Jean-Luc. He had been informed by his hostess that his family had arrived about fifteen minutes ago and that as soon as Paddy, Caitlin, and Dansha were settled, CJ and Paul would make their appearance. The five of them would be staying with the Fallières tonight and tomorrow night, when CJ and Paul would attend the Hollis Foundation Christmas dinner dance.

Derrick had just finished wondering aloud if he should go say hi to the kids (Bonnie told him that the three of them were pretty wiped out and that tomorrow would probably be best) when he heard the sound of glee that somehow managed to combine the gravelly throatiness of his mother’s laugh, the delighted astonishment of Caitlin’s giggle, and something else completely different, something he couldn’t yet analyze and codify. He turned his head to the sound.

The woman was of average height or slightly under average, about five-five, Derrick guessed. Her skin tone was just a little deeper than Dansha’s, her hair a medium to dark brown with bronze highlights that looked natural (although he was sure they were the result of a very discreet hairdresser).

Bonnie followed his stare.

“That’s Natasha Montmorency. She was recently hired to take Sidney Dugan’s place, God rest his soul. Jean-Luc says the department is very lucky to get her away from Arizona State, where she did her undergrad work. Shall I introduce you?” Bonnie’s smile was impish, knowing that if she did not make the introductions, her life was in danger.

In all honesty, Derrick could not claim that he knew immediately. In all honesty, Derrick would have to admit that he needed the five minutes it took (in the way that young members of the species somehow manage to quickly do so) to determine that she was unattached and straight before he knew. But once he knew it was possible, he not only knew it was probable, he knew it was certainty.

Once the introductions were made and the mutual curiosity engaged, Bonnie and Jean-Luc left the two younger people to themselves.

The educational/professional résumés were the first to be discussed. Natasha completed her undergraduate work in three years, then got her PhD in French Literature, specializing in the works of Rabelais, from Chicago three years later. She had been an instructor at ASU for two years when Poly contacted her, offering a tenure-track assistant professorship. (Okay, Derrick figured, she’s a year, maybe two years older than I am. I think I can deal with that; I **am** my father’s son.) She wondered at his working with the Hollis Foundation so soon after obtaining his _Juris Doctor_. He told her about the work he had done for the Foundation when he was with Milligan, Landry. “Mama used to work for ‘Road to a Better World’ and told them of my interest. Everyone assures me that all she did was expedite matters, but I still feel I need to prove myself,” Derrick said with a self-deprecating smile.

That led to the exchange of family information. Her mother had a real skill for languages and had been a translator for the Navy. Her father had the same skill (“I come by it genetically; it’s the family business”) and was an officer in the RAF. He was a visiting instructor at the Department of Defense Institute at Monterey when the two of them met, fell in love, and married. Unfortunately, her father and his parents were killed in a private plane crash about four months after Natasha and her sister were born. (“You’re a twin? So am I. Small world. I have a sister, Tatiana, but we’re fraternal, not identical. My mother’s favorite language is Russian and she was enamored with the literature, the history, the names.”) There really wasn’t any family left in England, just some distant cousins. However, her paternal grandparents did set up educational trusts for her sister and her at their birth. Her sister got her degree at ASU also, but she married right after graduation, and had a little girl. Tiana was a CPA and did taxes out of her home for H and R Block. After her father’s death, the three of them moved back to Phoenix to live near her mother’s family. (Derrick had a sense that Natasha’s relationship with her mother was somewhat strained, but this was not the time to pursue that area of her life.)

“Derrick?”

Derrick looked up at the sound of his name and saw his folks approaching. After hugs, he performed the introductions.

“CJ, Dad, this is Natasha Montmorency. She’ll be teaching with Jean-Luc this coming semester. Natasha, my parents, CJ and Paul Reeves.”

The four of them made small talk until Bonnie and Nancy joined them. CJ and Nancy expressed great interest in the improvements Bonnie and Jean-Luc had made to the kitchen and when Bonnie offered to show off the new cooking area, Natasha asked if she could see the room.

“A very nice, very intelligent, and very lovely young woman,” Paul remarked to his son.

“I’m glad you approve. She doesn’t know it yet, but she’s going to be your daughter-in-law. Don’t laugh, Dad,” Derrick added as his father began to smile.

Paul put his hand on Derrick’s shoulder. “I’m not laughing at you, son. I’m smiling in memory. It was the same with your mother and me.”

“ _I knew that CJ was meant to be mine t_ _he moment I saw her. Two pair, jacks over eights,” Danny said as he laid down his cards._

“ _It was the same with Brianna and me. And she was only ten at the time. Four of a kind, nines,” Jem put his cards on the table and reached toward the chips on the table._

“ _Excuse me, royal flush, clubs,” Percy Fitzwallace put his hand over Jem’s. “I was escorting someone else to the AKA Cotillion and Laura was with Horace Lee, but by the end of that evening, I_ _ **knew**_ _.”_

_Hugh and Simon Donovan threw down straights. They had neither winning hands nor stories about love at first sight._

“ _It took me three weeks_ _to fall in love with Brianna.”_

“ _At least two_ _weeks for me to stop seeing CJ as an annoying protectee.”_

“ _How about some more Guinness?” Leo asked, and their glasses were filled. Leo was glad that his alcoholism was only a distant memory. He could enjoy the taste without the addiction._

This is going to be run, Paul thought to himself.

**Later that evening**

“So, your stepmother ‘used to work for Road to a Better World’, you said.” Natasha came up to Derrick. “That’s like saying that Roger Federer used to be a ball boy.”

“I wasn’t trying to be funny. My father, all of us, are so very proud of CJ’s accomplishments, of the Nobel. But now, she’s so involved with her departmental work at Berkeley, and her studies, and still manages to make a wonderful family with Dad and the kids. She set ‘Road’ aside when Danny died. I’m sure that her life with him and her life with the project were so intertwined, that she couldn’t do it without him. But she and Dad are deliriously happy, and Frank Hollis finally convinced her to take a seat on the foundation’s board. She’ll get her PhD in May, assuming that her dissertation is accepted and defended, and I can’t imagine her not doing a bang-up job with it.”

Derrick took a deep breath. He told himself – what was the old hackneyed expression? - nothing ventured, nothing gained.

“Speaking of the foundation, on the off-chance that you have no other plans and would be interested, would you like to come with me to the dinner-dance tomorrow night? It’s a good meal, open bar, an orchestra, and a deejay. It’s dressy but not formal.”

“An eligible, nice, attractive guy like you without a date?” Natasha laughed that laugh again.

She thinks I’m nice and attractive, Derrick thought to himself and started to grin. “I had to RSVP by Halloween. Things can change.” He didn’t want to explain that the girl he had been seeing on occasion had gently but firmly dismissed him the first weekend in November. (“You’re looking for a wife and I’m looking for a husband. Neither of us sees the other in those roles; the chemistry just isn’t there. The sooner we put an end to this, the sooner we might find the right people. Live long and prosper, Derrick Reeves. Maybe we can dance at each other’s wedding.”)

Derrick hadn’t lost sight of the goal he had set for his personal life almost a year ago during that morning drive from Kensington to San Francisco, that day when he accepted Frank Hollis’ offer. Derrick was still looking for a wife (until he walked into Bonnie and Jean-Luc’s house this evening, he amended). He hadn’t been a hermit since his move to San Luis Obispo, but, except for two nights in April, he had been somewhat of a celibate monk. But now that dry spell should be coming to an end. Not that he expected (or even wanted) Natasha to fall into his bed the next night, or the next week, but he fully expected that “soon and very soon” he would begin a lifetime of intimacy with this fascinating creature.

“My address?”

“Excuse me?”

“I’m assuming you would come to my place and take me there and back. Don’t you want my address?”

Yes! She said yes!

Derrick and Natasha exchanged business cards, with her home address and phone scribbled in hers, his phone scribbled on his. Then the two of them went over to Sarita Hollis in order to obtain wardrobe information for Natasha that Derrick, having only one X chromosome, could not possibly possess.

**The next evening**

“Mama? May I have this dance?” Derrick held out his hand to CJ.

“Of course.”

As Derrick and CJ moved onto the dance floor, bumping into CJ’s old neighbor Jessica, who was dancing with former President Santos, Paul admired the sight of his wife in her high-necked but backless little black halter dress and then turned to his son’s date.

“Would you be willing to indulge an old man, Natasha?”

“I would be honored, Dr. Reeves.”

Derrick and Natasha had been seated at a table with fellow members of the legal staff, while CJ and Paul had eaten with the Hollis’, Bonnie and Jean-Luc, Nancy and Jesse, Ainsley Hayes and Glen Walken (who would be married right after Christmas), and Sam and Morgan Seaborn. (Morgan was also joining the Hollis Foundation board.) However, after dinner, the party attendees sat wherever conversation and dancing happened to find them.

Paul escorted Natasha to the dance floor and expertly led her through the steps of the fox trot. After two “Please call me Paul”’s, he accepted the fact that this young woman was not comfortable calling him by his first name. As for CJ, Natasha alternated “Mrs. Reeves”, “Ms. Cregg”, and “Ma’am” on pretty much an equal basis. There would be time enough for Natasha to find her comfort level with CJ and him, Paul thought. He was confident in Derrick’s statement that this young woman would someday be part of their family. Tom had started out with “Sir” and “Ma’am”; the young doctor was now pretty much set with “Pop” and “CJ”.

Natasha was enjoying her dance with Derrick’s father immensely. The minister was an expert and she felt as if she was being managed and guided without being controlled and smothered. Something about the young man had caught her fancy last night; now she was observing the mold from which Derrick had been cast. This is what Derrick would be like in thirty years, when experience would polish and gild the few rough edges, would provide a patina of grace over the currently newly faceted planes. Now why was she thinking about the Derrick of thirty years in the future?

For his part, Paul was looking at the young woman who had captivated his son; his observation was one of amusement and memory. Her cocktail dress was attractive and becoming yet modest, and its aquamarine color was one that reminded him of Alicia. “If this does work out, I think I like her,” he told Derrick’s mother. “I hope you would approve.”

“ _I do.”_

“Derrick called your wife ‘Mama’. It must make you happy that they are so close. I know that the two of you have only been married for three years. How did you happen to meet? What was it like to start again with someone new? If I’m not being too personal,” Natasha blushed and looked a little embarrassed.

“Actually, CJ and I were college sweethearts, back in the early 1980’s. It just didn’t work out at the time. We renewed our friendship in ’09 – Alicia had been gone for three years at the time – and then when Danny got sick, well, I think God gave him the grace to see that CJ and I would be good for each other and the children. So he pretty much handed her over to me. Of course, I don’t think that even he foresaw Dansha,” Paul laughed.

“ _Nope. She was as much a surprise to Alicia and me as to you and CJ. We just knew a few months before the two of you.”_

“In any event, the seven of us, the eight of us, counting my son-in-law, have formed a new family, one that works. Paddy, our second-grader, adores Derrick, and Derrick is an awesome ‘big brother’. Deborah has her own life now in Alaska, but she’s also very much in love with the kids.

“But enough about us. Tell me about your mother, your sister, your grandparents, your uncles.”

As Paul listened to Natasha, he, like his son, got the impression that the young woman and her mother had issues between them.

**11:30 PM, PST, February 14, 2017**

Derrick let himself into his condo, locked the door, and headed toward the credenza that served as his bar. He looked at the remaining amber liquid in the decanter, decided that prudence be damned, and poured all of it into a glass.

He did force himself to drink it slowly. Although an email to Aisling would result in a replacement package arriving at his door by the beginning of the week, he would not insult generations of master distillers by chugging the result of their genius.

Eight weeks ago, after the Hollis Foundation Christmas party, he had been pleased when Natasha had responded to his good night kiss but firmly let him know that she would not be sharing a bed with him that night. He wasn’t a prude, nor did he have a double standard (at least, not much of one), but he was glad to know that the future Mrs. Derrick Reeves was not overly generous with her body. Derrick felt the same way when their New Year’s Eve date had ended in a similar manner; the fact that Natasha was willing to end her trip to Arizona early in order to return to California to celebrate with him was satisfaction enough.

But he had hopes for tonight. The past few dates, she had reacted positively to his hands on the side of her breast, to the cupping of her fanny as he held her against him, to the pressure of his thigh between her legs. While driving to the restaurant earlier in the evening, he mentioned that he had a reservation at the Ventana Inn the first weekend of March. They could enjoy the beauty of the Big Sur area, do some hiking, relax in the hot tub, dine at Nepenthe.

“Derrick, that sounds very nice, but I’m not quite ready to move to that level, and I wouldn’t want to go with you under false pretenses. Do you understand?”

Derrick remembered everything that his father had told him. (“Unless she is comfortable with it, you won’t enjoy it.”) Derrick remembered that he wanted this woman in his arms for the rest of their lives.

He told her that he understood and he apologized. “I’m sorry to have presumed.”

She laughed that laugh again. “Don’t apologize. Guys are supposed to presume. Thank you for your patience.”

“I won’t lie to you, Natasha. I find you very desirable, but you call the shots. Whatever you want.”

The restaurant was very nice, very formal, very expensive; the waiter was very new, but tried to hide it.

“And what may I get you from the bar, ma’am?”

Natasha looked at Derrick. She deftly deferred the decision to her date without denigrating the young waiter.

“Could we have champagne, maybe a Blanc de Noirs?” she asked the lawyer.

“What are our choices?” Derrick asked the waiter and the man listed the selections in the restaurant’s wine cellar. “Whatever the lady wants.” Derrick stared directly into Natasha’s eyes. “Always, whatever the lady wants.”

So now, Derrick had come home after dinner, alone, to his lonely bed, and made a note to cancel the reservation at the Ventana. (Or, if he couldn’t get his deposit back, to offer it to his parents and volunteer to stay with the kids.) He would not be exploring the body he could only imagine; he would not know whether her nipples were chocolate or dusky peach, whether her navel was an innie or an outie, whether the curls at the top of her legs were dark, medium, or light. (He refused to entertain the idea that she waxed off everything.) He would not even know if she painted her toenails.

Derrick groaned as he realized that his thoughts were having the obvious reaction in his groin. The alcohol wasn’t helping. Maybe he should ride his stationary bike, or take a cold shower.

Or maybe he should just take matters into his own hands.

**10:00 PM PST, March 2, 2017; Kensington, CA**

“Hi, Dad.”

Derrick walked into the kitchen, dropped his weekender, and enveloped his father in a hug.

“I’m glad you got here safe. I was a little concerned. I thought you were leaving at 4:30?”

“I planned to, but Natasha had a problem with her front door. The deadbolt wasn’t latching properly, so I got a new one and replaced it. It took a bit longer than I anticipated. I should have called. I apologize.”

“It’s no problem. I’m glad that you are so concerned about your lady’s welfare. And how is Natasha?”

“Oh, she’s just fine.”

There was something about the way Derrick said that last sentence, coupled with the tension Paul felt in his son’s shoulders, that suddenly clarified several things in Paul’s mind.

Paul knew, both from casual conversation and from Paddy’s comments about “Derrick’s nice friend Miss Natasha” after the child’s visit to San Luis Obispo two weekends ago, that his older son was pursuing the young French professor. When Derrick had told Paul about his non-refundable reservation in the Big Sur area and his need to change his plans, made the offer of the accommodations to Paul and CJ along with babysitting duties, Paul immediately accepted and even convinced the young man to take payment for the deposit. Now he knew that the “unforeseen circumstance” was his son’s inability, so far, to seduce the woman he intended to marry.

Ah, well, Paul figured that he had managed to wait for six months. He had faith that his son had inherited his father’s persuasive powers and would eventually prevail. Paul briefly wondered if Natasha had made a promise similar to the one Alicia had made. However, Natasha’s mother’s mother was still alive and her father’s mother had died when she was just an infant.

**August 14, 2017; Kensington, CA**

“I’m going for a walk!” Natasha walked out the front door and slammed it shut.

“Fine!” Derrick picked up a magazine and threw it on the foyer table.

CJ and Paul walked in to hear the exchange.

“Derrick, go with her, she doesn’t know her way around here,” CJ told her stepson.

“She’ll be fine; she’s a smart woman, even if she doesn’t always act like it.”

“Derrick, I really think”

“Damn it, CJ, just leave it the fuck alone!”

“Derrick.”

As always, when his father used that tone, Derrick felt as if he were nine years old.

“I’m sorry, CJ. That was uncalled for.”

“That’s okay. Let me go after her. Maybe she needs to vent to a woman.” CJ knew from experience that her husband would be having words with Derrick and didn’t want to be around to hear them.

As the door opened and closed, Derrick turned to his father.

“I am sorry, Dad. It’s just – actually, there is no excuse.”

Paul knew that there was nothing else he really needed to say about the incident. In a little while, Derrick would go out and buy CJ some flowers as an act of contrition. Paul no longer had to demand the emptying of a wallet or a piggy bank.

However, maybe it was time to draw out Derrick on what was happening, or, unless Paul’s sense of the situation was completely off base, what wasn’t happening. with Derrick and Natasha.

Paul and CJ had seen Derrick and Natasha several times over the spring and summer.

There was a Hollis Foundation gala in San Francisco in April.

When CJ received her PhD in May, Natasha had come up with Derrick but had stayed at the Durant in a block of rooms occupied by Donna and Josh, Ginger and Rick, Zoey and Charlie, Frank and Diana, Hank and Steve, Mitch and Alison, the MacDonalds, and their other friends.

In June, when CJ attended her first Hollis Foundation board meeting, she stayed with Derrick in his guest room and reported back to Paul that Derrick and Natasha were not yet sleeping together, at least not at Derrick’s place. (“A woman just knows these things, trust me.”)

Natasha visited them in Albion the second week in July, sleeping at first in the upstairs bedroom. The girls were downstairs; Paddy and Derrick had the loft, of course. The two young people did go out by themselves for dinner, but weren’t gone long enough to make use of a room at the Bide-a-Wee (at least Paul hoped that if his son had succeeded with Natasha, that Derrick was spending a lot longer satisfying the young woman than the length of their absences would allow.) Then, after Deborah and Tom arrived from Fairbanks for a visit, with the news that there would be a grandchild in late November, Derrick and Paddy moved to the camper, Natasha moved to the loft, and there was even less privacy.

Now it was August and the two of them had come up Friday evening, with Natasha sleeping in the living room and Derrick sharing Paddy’s room as he always did. Paul immediately sensed the love, albeit undeclared love, between the two of them, but he also sensed the tension in the relationship.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“I’m trying so hard to be patient, Dad. Except for one wild weekend well over a year ago, I haven’t ah, been with anyone since right after I accepted the offer from Frank and Jamie. That morning, I knew I was ready for what you have with CJ, what you had with Mom.” The young man smiled. “I asked Natasha if she made a promise, like Mom did, told her I could understand. She said she hadn’t. I asked her if she had any religious scruples and she said she didn’t. I asked her if she was afraid of me and she told me she would trust me with her life. She just says she needs more time. But, Dad, it’s so hard, no pun intended, although there have been two times I gave in.”

Paul smiled as his son actually blushed.

“Derrick, remember what I told you when you were thirteen?”

(“It’s natural, but all things in moderation and all things in discretion, in privacy. No, you won't go blind, no, it won’t fall off and no, you won’t get hairy palms.”)

“But I’m not a teenager anymore.”

“Believe me, it’s not just for kids, son.”

Derrick stared at his father and asked the silent question. (“You?”) He read the silent answer in the older man’s eyes. (Two times waiting for CJ that first time, two more times agonizing over her after he left law school for Yale, three times waiting for Alicia, once in Asia when he finally realized that he would never hold Alicia again, and once that summer right before he asked CJ to marry him.)

“Are you still sure, Derrick? Is she worth it?”

“More than ever and absolutely.”

“Then you do what you need to do. Now, I think you should go find a florist. For both of them,” he laughed.

“Sounds like a plan,” Derrick laughed in return. “Hey, Paddy,” he called to the boy on the deck, “let’s go for a ride.”

Paul went outside to charm the two little girls who sometimes felt left out when Derrick did “brother stuff” with Paddy.

Fifteen minutes later, CJ came out on the deck and Paul decided to work on the sermon he would be preaching the coming Sunday. As he walked toward his study, he bumped into Natasha coming from the communal bath. She ducked her head but he could see the red eyes.

For the second time that afternoon, he asked, “Do you want to talk about it?”

Natasha started to shake her head from side to side, but then nodded up and down, so he gently led her into the study and closed the door.

“You and Derrick seem to be having a bit of a rough patch.” Paul had found it useful to give his counselees an opening observation on which to base their discussion.

“Dr. Reeves, I don’t know why he puts up with me. He’s so special, so nice, so good. He deserves someone special, someone nice, someone good. He doesn’t deserve someone like me. He doesn’t deserve soiled seconds.”

Her words, coupled with his years of training, his years of experience, finally brought the situation into focus.

“How old were you, and was he a relative or just a family acquaintance?”

Natasha looked up from the loveseat and started to deny the truth Paul had just discerned, then succumbed to the caring and understanding she read in Derrick’s father’s eyes.

“I was eleven. He was my mother’s fiancé. Tiana had gone to Mesa to stay with my grandparents but I was doing so well with my tennis that I wanted to stay in Phoenix and play the matches. He told me that he was going to be my daddy and that all good little girls took care of their daddies’ needs. He said that we should keep it our special secret until he and my mother got married.

“It went on for about two months until one day, my aunt came over to the house unexpectedly and found us. My mother was devastated; she still hasn’t forgiven herself for exposing me to the danger. She stopped dating and I feel guilty about that. She’s been alone ever since then. Apparently, the man had a history of getting “engaged” to women with young daughters. When he was convicted and sent away, he was killed in prison, and **his** mother still blames **me** for **that**.”

Natasha told Paul all the usual things that women who have endured what she had endured say, that she was spoiled for decent men, that she could never get past the sordidness of the events of her past, that she could never get past the idea that somehow, some way, she had caused the man to think she wanted the attentions because she was so hungry for a father and a father’s love.

Paul gently but firmly told her that she was an intelligent woman and that she knew, at least intellectually, that all of that “was a total crock”, but he also knew one’s psyche didn’t always listen to one’s intellect and that love and caring, combined with gentle prodding and reproof, were often needed. Yes, a professional could be of much help, but more important was the love, caring, prodding, and gentle reproof of those who loved and cherished you.

“So I should tell all this to Derrick?”

“Yes,” Paul replied, praying that his son would be able to deal with it, and that Derrick would come to him for advice on dealing with it.

“Could you find him for me?”

Paul had heard Paddy running through the house, so he knew that Derrick was back from his errand. He quickly located the young man and brought him to the study.

“I’ll leave the two of you alone,” Paul said and walked toward the door.

“Please stay?” Natasha asked.

So Paul sat there while Natasha told her story for a second time, her eyes staring at her hands in her lap. When she finished, she looked up to Derrick.

“It doesn’t matter one damn to me, Tasha, except that it matters to you, and therefore, it matters the world to me. We’ll work it out, you and me, together.”

Derrick gathered her in his arms as she began to cry, releasing the myriad of emotions the afternoon had roused.

“Later,” Paul whispered to his son, meaning that he would give Derrick the advice he would need to deal with the situation. In the meantime, Natasha needed Derrick’s arms consoling her and reassuring her.

Some thirty minutes later, Paul looked up from his chair in the family room to see Derrick, carrying Natasha in his arms, trying to open the doors to the living room where she was sleeping at night. Surely his son wasn’t going to consummate their relationship now, on a fold-out couch in the living room with the rest of his family within hearing distance. Paul got up and walked toward the front of the house.

“She’s asleep, probably mentally exhausted. Could you help me get her to bed? I didn’t want to leave her in your study.”

After the two men put Natasha on the sleeper, Derrick removed her shoes and covered her with a quilt. Then the two of them left the living room, closing the French doors behind them. Of one mind, they returned to the study.

“I’m glad he’s dead,” Derrick said. “It saves me the trouble of finding him and killing him.”

“That wouldn’t bring back her lost innocence and you wouldn’t be able to give her the gift of trusting in the love of a man if you were serving a life term in prison,” Paul replied, “but I understand how you feel.”

“I’m going to need all your advice on this, Dad. I can’t mess this up. She’s everything to me.”

“You’ll do fine, son. Just remember what I’ve always told you – if she isn’t comfortable, it won’t work. In this situation, she has to take the initiative, to make the decisions, to make the moves. Also, when she is ready, remember that in every way, except for one little flap of skin, she is a virgin.”

Derrick yawned and Paul realized that his son was as emotionally drained as the young woman across the foyer. But there was one more thing to be said.

“You need to take her somewhere else. Tomorrow. The two of you need to be alone; you don’t need us, especially the kids, in the mix.”

“You’re right, of course, you always are,” Derrick smiled and then yawned again, “but where?”

“Why don’t you leave that to your mother and me? Now, go to bed.”

As Derrick left the room, Paul turned to the faint scent of Youth Dew.

“I should have said ‘stepmother’. I’m sorry, love of my life.”

“ _It’s okay, Paul.” Alicia brushed her lips against those of her son’s father. “I know how much CJ cares for my children. Now let me go sit with him a while.”_

Paul went to find CJ and briefly told her, in “preacher’s wife confidence”, what had transpired.

The first call CJ made was to Amy Marshall. The last thing Derrick needed was to be pestered by his adoring little brother. Amy called a few other mothers and a last minute sleepover with pizza and videos was arranged. Paul drove Paddy to the Marshall’s house.

The second call was to Morgan Seaborn. Once again, CJ was willing to do for her family and friends what she wasn’t willing to do for herself – use her connections.

Even the First Lady of California wasn’t able to free up accommodations at Ventana Inn (maybe Abbey Bartlet or Helen Santos could have, CJ thought), but Morgan did find a very nice little suite at another, less well known but equally nice lodge in the Big Sur area. There was one thing on CJ’s list of needs that Sam’s wife didn’t quite understand, but she didn’t ask any questions.

Derrick and Natasha slept through the night. Natasha didn’t wake when CJ tiptoed into the living room with a vase holding the flowers Derrick had bought for his lady in apology for the earlier argument when the young man had bought a similar bouquet as an apology to his stepmother. Derrick didn’t awake when Paul fetched Paddy’s sleeping bag, knapsack, pj’s, and a change of clothes.

Derrick must have awakened up first the next morning because he was coming back from an errand when Paul got up to pray and meditate. CJ told him of the arrangements that had been made and he thanked her, asked her to thank Morgan for her efforts.

Natasha and Derrick left at four for the three hour drive to Big Sur. There was no hurry, they were told; stop for an early dinner along the way in Monterrey or Carmel-by-the-sea. The room was guaranteed; indeed three nights were billed to Paul’s credit card.

On the way back from Billy’s house earlier in the day, Paul explained to Paddy that Derrick and Natasha needed some time by themselves to work out problems. Remember the fight that you and Maggie had last summer? It was something like that. Paddy said he understood. Girls could be tricky at times. Was Mama ever like that?

**8:30 PM PDT, August 15, 2017; Big Sur, CA**

Derrick could tell that Natasha was becoming anxious as they left the lobby of the lodge and were escorted to their room. The bellman showed Derrick and Natasha the living room of the suite, the coffee pot, microwave, and refrigerator that had been stocked to Mrs. Seaborn’s specifications, the crackers, _petit fours_ , and other staples in the cabinet. He showed them the luxury bath with both shower and separate extra large tub that could be either still or a jacuzzi. He showed them the array of bathing products. He showed them the list of lodge amenities, including heated outdoor pool, hot tub, day spa, exercise room, and room service. Finally, he accepted the ten dollar bill Derrick handed him, wished them a pleasant stay, and left. Derrick locked the door and threw the “Please do not disturb” bolt.

“Derrick, I know that I was able to take a big step yesterday, letting you know, but I’m not sure if I’m - ”

“Tasha, we won’t do anything until you say it’s okay.” He walked her into the bedroom, where their bags were resting on the floor. “There are two beds in here and if that’s not enough for you, I can sleep out there on the couch. You’re the boss,” Derrick smiled at her.

Natasha smiled back at him. “I trust you, and that couch doesn’t look near long enough for you. But I dibs the bed closer to the bathroom.” She laughed and flopped herself down on her choice.

Derrick lifted her suitcase to the luggage rack closest to her bed, secretly glad that she had chosen the bed furthest from the sliding glass doors. The inside doors were more secure than those leading out to the terrace, and he wanted his body between those doors and her, just in case.

“Okay, but I get first crack at the bathroom.” He lifted up his bag and opened it, intending to take out his toiletry kit, but saw the little bag from his trip this morning.

Derrick picked up the bag, took a deep breath, and turned to face the woman who was now the most important person in his life.

“Tasha, I said I would wait until you are ready, and I mean it. But when you **are** ready, I want to be ready for you. So you keep these.” He handed her the package of condoms. “When you are ready for us to make use of these, you let me know.”

Derrick took another deep breath.

“Natasha Elena Montmorency, I love you, have loved you since that first night at Bonnie and Jean-Luc’s party. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, to have children with you, to grow old with you. I want to have with you what my mother and father had, what CJ and Danny had, what my folks are blessed to have a second time.”

He got down on one knee.

“I want to marry you. I know you aren’t ready,” Derrick added as she began to tear up and put her fist to her mouth, “so once again, when you are ready for me to put a ring on your hand, you let me know. I won’t nag or pressure you, but I will periodically remind you just so you don’t think I’ve changed my mind. We belong with each other.”

Then Derrick got up, grabbed his kit and went into the bathroom.

When he returned, the little box was nowhere to be seen.

Natasha picked up her things and went into the bathroom. He heard the sound of the shower as he double-checked all the doors, stripped down to his undershirt and boxers, and slipped into his bed.

Natasha came out of the bathroom wearing a mid-calf length sleeping shirt. She came to Derrick, bent down to lightly kiss his mouth, and returned to the bed on the other side of the nightstand.

The next day, Derrick and Natasha made a light breakfast of the things in the suite, made use of the hot tub and pool, then went out for lunch and to explore the beauty and the eclecticness of the area.

After a short nap (again in separate beds), they went to dinner at Nepenthe and returned to their suite, where they sat on the patio in front of the fire pit, sipping cordials and eating _petit fours_. She told him to use the bathroom first, that she wanted to make use of the bubbles that the lodge provided and soak in the tub.

He must have been tired because the next thing Derrick knew, he was awakened out of a deep sleep by the sound of Natasha’s voice calling his name. He sat up quickly.

“Is something wrong?”

But she just stood there in the moonlight, smiled, and extended her right hand to him. The small foil packet shimmered in the silver beam coming from the window.

Derrick took the condom from her hand and set it on the nightstand. Then, rising to his knees, he took her hand and gently pulled her onto his bed so that she was kneeling in front of him, face to face.

Natasha was wearing something strapless and silky that just covered her trunk. In a minute, he realized that she had used her half-slip as a substitute for a more feminine sleeping garment and was touched. He wanted to feel that silkiness against him so he removed his undershirt before taking her in his arms and gently but deeply kissing her. The boxers would wait until later, much later.

Derrick found out that she had the most delightful little innie; he found out that her nipples were pale raspberry. (Several pool parties revealed that she did indeed paint her toenails.) Derrick found out that the modest bathing suits she wore hid a nest of neatly groomed but very full curls that matched her tresses. Apparently not all the highlights were the result of human intervention.

Derrick wanted her first one to be on his fingers and his palm. He needed to see her face, to help him determine what and where and how much, things she would be too shy to tell him, things she might not even know if she didn’t resort to self-release (something he might someday ask, after they were more secure in each other).

Derrick wanted her second one to be on his mouth, his tongue, his lips, his mustache, and his beard. He wanted to feel her hands gripping his hair as she jerked off the bed.

Derrick wanted her third one to be on his thumb with his fingers inside her. He wanted to gauge her wetness, her size. Her body may have healed itself from the ravages of fifteen years ago. The last thing he wanted to do was to cause any pain, anything that might bring back the memories he was determined to banish.

When Derrick finally reached for the little package on the nightstand, he started to hand it to her, then realized that she would not know how to sheath him properly. Something else to teach her, in the days and nights to come. He felt a deep seated joy in knowing that he would be the first and, God willing, the only man to show her things. Then he flushed as he told himself that he would gladly have been the fifth, or even the fiftieth, if she could have been spared the rape and abuse of her childhood.

Natasha smiled a little tremulously as he came over her.

“Do you want me to stop?”

As she moved her head from side to side, he kissed her mouth and slowly, gently sunk himself deep inside her.

After a while, he realized that his movements, the skill he had developed over the years, and the explicit instruction from his father would not be enough, at least not just yet; he slipped his hand between the two of them and as she quaked and gasped a fourth time, he let go himself, screaming her name.

As he returned to his senses, he felt the warm wetness against his chest and felt the shaking of her shoulders.

“Did I hurt you, sweetheart? I tried so hard not to.”

No, he didn’t hurt her. It’s just that she couldn’t climax as a woman. What he had done with his hands and his mouth was so much better than what she had done with her own fingers (“Well, that answers that question”), but she wanted to climax “for real”.

“First of all, you did do it ‘for real’. As for coming just from penile contact, that is something we can work on. And if it never happens, if our anatomies aren’t exactly right for it, then we do what we have to do. Okay?”

“Okay.” She snuggled herself down into his armpit and began to kiss his chest. After a few minutes, Derrick began to think about turning her so that her back faced him, so that they could sleep as spoons. However, she suddenly pulled away, got up, and walked over to the other side of the other bed.

“Sweetheart? Is something wrong?”

“Well, I know enough to know that these” Natasha held up the box of condoms “can only be used once.” She walked back to the bed she had just vacated. “And wouldn’t it be cheaper to buy more than six at a time?”

**Two weeks later; San Luis Obispo, CA**

“O-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o- **o-o-oh**!”

“See, sweetheart, I told you it was just a matter of practice and finding the right moves.”

**Early October 2017**

Gina had offered to stay with the kids, so Paul travelled down to San Luis Obispo with CJ for the Hollis Foundation board meeting. Paul observed that Derrick was much more relaxed, much less tense, than he had been earlier in the year.

**December 20, 2017; Kensington, CA**

“Dr. Reeves? Could I speak with you?”

Paul looked up and smiled at Natasha as she stood in the doorway to his study.

Things were definitely much better between his son and his son’s lady this trip. Derrick had gone with Natasha to Arizona for Thanksgiving, to meet her grandparents, her mother (“They still have things to work out, Dad, but I have hopes”), her sister, and the rest of Natasha’s family. Paul was glad for his son, even though that meant there were only the five of them for Thanksgiving. (Dansha got a cold and therefore the trip up to Napa had to be scratched; the last thing Randy and Gina needed was to have the germs spread among the grandkids that were coming along regularly, what with four of the five boys married.) It also meant that Derrick wasn’t there when Tom called to let them know that Deborah had gone into premature labor but all was well and that Paul and CJ now had a very small but healthy grandson.

Natasha’s family had decided to do a destination Christmas, but spending the holiday in the Netherlands Antilles didn’t appeal to the French professor, so naturally, she was invited to spend the time with Derrick and his family.

When Paddy told Natasha that the living room was the usual place “where Santa put the tree” (Paddy had figured out the whole story about Santa Claus over the summer, but was delighted to be considered enough of a big boy to be trusted to keep the secret for his younger sisters), she insisted that she would be fine with an air mattress in Caitlin and Dansha’s room. However, Caitlin adored the pretty lady that came to visit with her big brother and willingly gave up her bed, crowding into Dansha’s. Caitlin slept with her feet against the headboard, Dansha with hers at the end of the bed. Their little heads met in the middle. Both girls played dress up with Natasha’s clothes and makeup and Natasha didn’t mind in the least.

“Of course, my dear. How may I be of assistance?”

Natasha told him of Derrick’s proposal back in August. “I’m ready to say ‘yes’, to tell him I’m ready for a ring. But since everything in our relationship is so reversed,” she laughed, “I decided I should ask for your consent to give him that answer.”

Then her face turned serious.

“I know that we wouldn’t be where we are without your help, that time in August. I know Derrick realizes how lucky he is to have a father like you. I hope your other children realize it. Your daughters are blessed. I only wish that Tiana and I could have,” she began to tear and her voice caught on the words.

_Reginald Montmorency reached down to stroke his daughter’s hair. “I wish I could have been there for you, your sister, and most of all, for your mother. I love you eternally,_ _my Natasha. I’m glad that you’ve found someone to wipe away the horror, to make you happy.”_

“Anyway, do I have your permission to say ‘yes’ to Derrick?”

Paul reached for her hands, lifted her to her feet, and pulled her into his arms.

“Of course. That first night he met you, he told me that you would be my daughter-in-law some day, and somehow I knew he was right. Natasha, you’ve always had a father and I know that he would have given anything to have been here on earth for you. I wouldn’t ever try to take his place in your heart, but do you think you could find room for me in there? I’ve had lots of practice with daughters.”

Natasha kissed his cheek. “It would be my honor.”

“I’m glad. And listen, would you humor an old man? Instead of telling Derrick right away - ”

Natasha’s eyes and heart gladdened as Paul laid out his suggestion.

“Oh, I love it! Yes!”

“Good, then it’s settled. Listen, do you have any particular plans for tomorrow? Would you like to come with me into the city? We could have lunch and then you could help me pick out some things for CJ.”

**Christmas Day**

All the presents had been opened and CJ had suggested they head for the dining room and brunch.

“Just one more thing.”

Paul stopped everyone as they began to rise from the floor and the couch and chairs. He pulled a black velvet jewelry bag from his pants pocket.

“I have one last thing for Derrick. Your mother wanted you to have most of what is in here. I want you to have, and I think she would have wanted you to have, the other thing that is in here.”

Derrick opened the bag and CJ gasped as she saw the contents. There was a beautiful wedding set, the style of which was very popular in the late 1980’s but was really timeless. There was also the plain gold band CJ had last seen on Paul’s hand the July after Danny had died.

“Given your upside-down relationship, Natasha came to me the other day and asked for my blessing, for my permission to tell you ‘yes’. I asked her if she would consider wearing your mother’s rings and I decided to ask you to consider wearing my ring from your mother. So, if you don’t mind, and if you still want to make Natasha part of this family -”

Derrick looked directly at Natasha.

“As always, whatever the lady wants.”

He reached for Natasha’s hand and slipped his mother’s engagement ring on her finger. (It was just the slightest bit loose, but she could wear it without danger of losing it until it could be resized.)

_Alicia turned her face into Danny’s shoulder. “I’m so happy for them._ _”_

_Danny smiled. He knew that in the same safety deposit box that Paul had visited a couple of days ago, CJ’s rings were waiting for his son to give to Maggie Muñoz, some twelve years from now._

“Let me take those wedding rings for now, keep them safe,” CJ said as she hugged Derrick.

Thirty minutes later, they were seated at the dining room table. Derrick and Natasha had decided on an early August wedding, with time for a honeymoon just before the start of the new academic year. CJ was walking from the kitchen with another pan of cinnamon rolls when the doorbell rang. Since Paul was engaged in wiping Dansha’s mouth, CJ said she would get the door.

“I wonder who would be coming by this early on Christmas?”

A minute later, Paul heard his wife say his name. He looked up, concerned at the trembling he heard in her voice.

Tom and Deborah were in the archway. Deborah walked up to her father and put the little bundle she was holding in his arms.

“Meet your grandson.”

And Joseph Alvin Jefferson, named for two of his great-grandfathers, smiled up at the silently weeping face above his. (“They say it’s just gas, but I never believed it,” CJ said.)

Yes, Tom told him, normally it would be foolish to fly such a distance, switching planes, with so small an infant, but Derrick, as a special Christmas present for his father, had arranged for a Hollis jet to pick up the new little family in Fairbanks and bring them to Oakland. In a few days, Tom, Deborah, and little Joe (“Dum, da-da dum, da-da-da-da-da-da dum, Bonanza!” Derrick sang) would be taken to New Jersey, and then back to Alaska, all on Derrick’s dime.

“Son, this is so wonderful, having all of us together for Christmas, but the expense! Please let me help?”

Tom mentioned that his father also wanted to share in the cost. Apparently, the surprise part of the trip was only for the Reeves. Otherwise, the Jersey Jeffersons might be up in Killington skiing.

“Well, okay, but it’s not that much, between my bonus and not having to get a ring for Natasha since she’s wearing Mom’s - ”

The announcement set off squeals from Deborah and handshakes and kisses from Tom. More chairs were pulled up to the table and the baby was passed from grandfather to grandmother to uncles to aunts (very carefully and only while Dansha and Caitlin were seated with CJ hovering over them.) Finally, the infant was handed to his future aunt.

“He’s so beautiful.” Natasha’s eyes shifted to the right as she did the math in her head. “God willing, not this coming May but the May after that -”. She blushed and left the thought unfinished.

Derrick looked at her and smiled.

“Whatever the lady wants.”

**Epilog**

**11:15 PM MDT, August 4, 2018; Phoenix, AZ**

”Thirty-four. Thirty-five. Thirty-six.”

As Derrick undid each of the little buttons, he put a little kiss down Natasha’s back. With the last of them, the top of the strapless gown dropped to her hips. He turned her round to face him and the dress fell to the floor.

Natasha draped her arms around Derrick’s neck and leaned back. As he gently rubbed the lines made on her ribcage by the boning that replaced the need for a merry widow and kissed the valley between her breasts, she began to paraphrase the old Dusty Springfield song her uncle had requested for her 

_“The only man who will ever reach me_   
Is the son of a preacher man;   
The only man who will ever teach me   
Is the son of a preacher man.”

As Derrick began to dance her toward the bed, Natasha started to move away, to head toward the bathroom. Then she remembered that the diaphragm she was accustomed to inserting since February, when their second set of tests came back negative and they stopped buying condoms, was sitting in a trash bag in a landfill outside of San Luis Obispo. 

“Derrick?” 

“Yes, Mrs. Reeves?” 

“Make me pregnant.” 

“Whatever the lady wants.” 


End file.
